I had my first child a little over 10 years ago. When constantly asked “Don’t you remember…?” Well actually “NO!” I don’t remember almost anything from my first baby. I was super young (20) and there are very minimal things I can recall.
Breastfeeding, however, is one of those I actually do remember and let me tell you, I remember it was a terrible experience. I can honestly say I barely tried breastfeeding/pumping. It was very painful and I gave up super quick!! I didn’t research it at all, I just knew it was what I was suppose to do. I can remember having limited support for this so I think that added to why I easily quit. I feel a little bad when I think back at this but there is nothing I can do to change it.
When I was pregnant with my son, I did constant research on breastfeeding including reading a ton of blogs, articles, and watching YouTube videos. I went on an overload of breastfeeding research. My fiance was also supportive as he did his own research as well. We both agreed we wanted our son to be breastfed.
Boy oh boy! When the time came to begin breastfeeding, I was quickly reminded of how hard it was!! I had not even made it out of the hospital before having my first meltdown post baby. I was so frustrated, sore, and tired from trying to properly breastfeed my son. My fiance was a huge help as he constantly got the nurses and lactation specialist at the hospital involved. By the time we left the hospital about 4 days after my son was born, I had my routine pretty set…or so I thought.
Breastfeeding was extremely difficult for the first few days that turned into weeks. After some hurdles, we decided to do both breastfeed and formula feed. I do not feel bad about this at all. It was the best decision we could have made at the time as my lack of producing enough milk was affecting the baby’s weight gain.
For a little bit, I felt extremely down at what I thought was failing at breastfeeding. After speaking to lactation consultants and doing even more research I learned I was not the only one who struggled. For whatever reasons, I just was not one of the women who could produce an abundance of milk and I accepted that. I told myself if I could breastfeed and/or pump until my baby was 6 months I will have accomplished my goal.
Fast forward to the present and I can say I am SUPER PROUD of myself!! My son turned 6 months on the 17th of this month and I am officially done pumping. I probably could have continued but honestly after researching and lots of thought I knew stopping at this point was the best for me. I was constantly thinking about pumping and worried about how much I was not making that it just added stress to my mind. I feel good knowing that I reached my goal and that I was able to provide my son with as much breast milk as I possibly could.
To all the breastfeeding mommas or pumping mommas out there, keep pushing!!! Your baby deserves all that you can give no matter how much or how little! I know it’s hard but you can get through it and if it does not work out, thank goodness for formula!! Don’t feel bad, there’s only so much our bodies can do.
Marce's View 