Tag: mombloglove

Family, Mom Life, Posts

Car Ride Chit Chat

marcetheblogger

Last night I was speaking to my 12 year old daughter. She was feeling very talkative and I was loving it. No iPad around, no iPhone in hand, just a convo while I was driving.

Her topic of discussion: her father. Now I’m not here to bash him but I will speak facts.

Her father has never been actively in her life. He has his moments where he calls consistently for like a week or two but then falls off. He has random times where he will call to drop off food for her. He will also randomly call and ask to take her with him on certain weekends but then there are times where he will call, say he’s coming, and then goes MIA.

It’s a terrible cycle and I have hated it for forever. I have been told to cancel him out because what he’s doing is toxic but I always felt like if he’s asking to see her why not. Plus my daughter does enjoy seeing her other side of the family which is what drives her to even want to go with him.

Well last night she was telling me how she wishes she knew what it feels like to have a dad. She acknowledges her stepdad and her grandpa (my dad) but still wonders about having her own dad. She said she doesn’t envy anyone else but she does wonder what she’s missing.

Now if you know me you know I wanted to ball up and cry. I definitely feel guilty about who I decided to sleep with and who I decided to make a baby with (whether planned or not). But instead of crying or making excuses for her father, I decided to keep listening but then took the opportunity to explain some things to her which I will breakdown at the end.

I also want to add that my parents and I never openly spoke about sex. We never spoke about relationships. All I can remember hearing growing up from my dad was to be with someone on my level and/or someone who had goals and aspirations and was doing something to achieve them. When I had Jen I told myself I wanted to be open with my daughter. I wanted us to be able to speak about any and everything regardless of what it was.

All of this led to my input in last night’s conversation:

When thinking about having sex for the first time, be smart. You only get to lose your virginity once and you want it to be with someone you trust and care about. This also doesn’t mean you will be together forever but you want someone who will respect you and when you think back at that moment you aren’t ashamed or full of regret.

When you get older and having kids comes up, know who you are having a baby with. Get to know that person, their family, and address what it will mean to bring another life into this world. It may not always work out but it may help to establish a healthy coparenting relationship if needed.

Just wait, there is no need to move fast and grow up fast. Everything has its time and the more mature you are the better you will be able to make decisions. (I had my daughter when I was 20 and that was far from a mature age to make this decision – my opinion).

Now to some this may be a lot and you may wonder why the heck I would say these things to my child. But the beauty of having your own kids is you getting to choose how to raise your own kids. It may not be perfect but it definitely gives me a good feeling knowing my daughter is comfortable speaking to me about topics like these.

Key takeaways: Know your partner and learn them. This will help you both decide if having kids together will work. Also talk to your kids. In this age of social media, wouldn’t you rather talk to them about sensitive topics instead of having Instagram or TikTok teach them?

NOTE: This is not parenting advice. I’m just a momma who wants and tries to do her best each and everyday in this crazy world we live in.

Mom Life, Posts

International Women’s Day 2021

marcetheblogger

Empowerment means having the confidence to have control of self and receiving the support that is right. It means you are respected and have the power to do something. Much of women empowerment is mentioned in politics and is directed towards women in a professional career (rightfully so) but that leaves out a key role some women play in their life…being a mother.

Let’s think about this. We can carry another being (or multiples) for nine months! We then have to deliver these little ones and be in full mommy mode while recovering from delivery. As mothers we have to adapt to changes immediately and navigate parenting without a guide book! This is truly empowering. Of course, this does not minimize women in professional careers but shows appreciation and support for women who are at home nurturing their kids which is significant and meaningful.

Oftentimes, these women are overlooked and bombarded with pessimistic messages from family, friends, colleagues, and especially social media. Social media can portray a negative image of mothers because the messaging is women are wasting so many rights we fought to gain by being home and not doing “real work.”  

Motherhood needs more recognition and support and way less judgement.  There are many questions we think about when we go to bed at night and the key one is am I doing this right? So this March, Women’s Month, take some time to recognize a woman or women in your life who have made an impact on you or are making an impact in the world by caring for children.  A simple text goes a long way and can put a smile on another woman’s face and increase their confidence.  

This pandemic demonstrated how empowering motherhood can be. It opened my eyes to what being a stay at home mom really means. Waking up everyday with a toddler and preteen at home while having to work full time has not been easy but those tight hugs and goodnight kisses make it worthwhile. You see real power consists of choice, creativity, control and flexibility and mothers are out here doing it each and everyday.

Empowered Women Empower Women
Posts

This Week’s Top 3 Accomplishments

marcetheblogger

This has been quite a long week for me. 🕔🕙

Finally returned to work (virtually) after being off more than two weeks and I am super proud I didn’t let myself work outside of work hours or become overwhelmed. 👏🏽

Excited about starting my Pinterest business page which has already made more impressions than I thought I could get. 🥳

I am also proud to have found motivation to work out every day. Thank you to @masterconsistency for the push on Tuesday! 💪🏽

Happy Friday! 💮

Accomplishments of the Week
Family

The Unexpected

marcetheblogger

January 20-21, 2021

What I thought would be a regular monthly prenatal check up turned into a nightmare that I will never wake up from. On January 20th just a day short of 17 weeks, my doctor couldn’t find my baby’s heartbeat with her Doppler. She moved me to the ultrasound room and as I grabbed my camera to record, I immediately knew something was wrong when I looked at the screen. It’s a picture that I see in my mind at different times throughout the day. I keep replaying it in my head thinking did this really happen?

You see after having two successful pregnancies with no major issues I never would have thought this would happen to me. At 17 weeks, I learned I had a fetal demise. My baby’s heart had stopped beating and they stopped growing. My doctor gave me two options, either induce labor and deliver my baby or have a D & C while under full anesthesia. Although I had the ultimate say, she highly recommended a D & C because she felt knowing my history and me that it would be too traumatic to try and deliver my baby vaginally. Ultimately, I decided for the D & C and was able to get an appointment for the next day.

It was such a weird car ride that day. I actually stopped at Dunkin’ and then parked and sat in my car at a park near my apartment. I just didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to see how hurt my fiancé was and I definitely wasn’t ready to see my 12 year old who I would have to tell.

Honestly, I felt like a failure. I even asked the doctor what I had done wrong and she said nothing. Everything was normal in my bloodwork and previous scans so having no answers made it even more difficult.

While at the park I recorded some videos which capture how I felt in that moment. I was in disbelief but felt speaking about it to myself out loud would help me begin to accept what had happened. But I must say even days later I still don’t understand.

I have played the video from that day multiple times; a video I accidentally recorded but it captured every second of that nightmare. The one thing I feared and was paranoid would happen actually did happen.

My baby became an angel before I could even hold them. I try to pray a lot and try to find peace knowing God has my baby with him. I am not going to lie at the park I definitely talked to God and told him I didn’t get why he did this. I mean I still don’t but I have to believe it’s for a reason and that as time goes on I’ll see and accept it.

Pregnancy loss in the second trimester happens in about 2-3% of women. Typically by this trimester you have gotten clearance from your doctor to share the baby news so it does add to the hurt.

I don’t share my story to scare anyone but instead to keep spreading the word on how many women actually experience this type of tragedy. I hope that I find my peace soon and I also hope that this in turn helps someone feel like they aren’t alone.

Baby #3 – Although we never met, I want you to know we loved you. We wondered if you were a boy or girl daily and it drove daddy crazy. We will meet again one day and until then I hope you Rest In Peace my angel.

  • Confirming Baby #3
  • First sign of baby bump
  • Check in #2
  • My alien baby was growing
  • New Year bump
  • My angel
  • My daughter’s words to her sibling – excuse her typos

Let's Get Personal

Reflection

marcetheblogger

Hi All,

I am feeling a bit nostalgic today so I wanted to share some thoughts. At the end of 2017, I took a very crazy leap of faith and accepted a new position. Why was it crazy, you ask? Well because it required a significant pay cut and leaving a job after 4 years (my longest job).

I had decided earlier in that year that I would return to grad school and get a degree to work in higher education. I knew it would not be easy and I knew it would require sacrifice. I went through so many situations since making the switch and they were not easy.

Many don’t know but I had interviewed at other schools but was never offered a position. But I did not become discouraged!  I knew I wanted to do more with my life. I wanted to make an impact on people’s lives.

I was fortunate to have started my higher education career at the beginning of 2018. Since then I have moved on to a different institution and feel beyond excited for the new opportunity. I am fortunate to be working with a great team and cannot wait to see what the rest of this school year brings for me.

Travel

Dolphinaris – Cozumel, Mexico

marcetheblogger

During our family cruise this past August, our ship docked at beautiful Cozumel, Mexico. This was our one stop where we decided to participate in an excursion. It was a family friendly activity that we all truly enjoyed.

For our last stop, we booked the Dolphinaris Experience. Due to my son being so small we opted not to do swimming with dolphins since he would not be able to participate and we were also on a budget. We booked the excursion directly on the Carnival app which was super easy and convenient.

We received our instructions in an envelope the morning of our excursion. Typically we would have received it the night before but we booked it super last minute. Once we docked, we made our way to our meeting spot where we had to wait about 45 minutes to be taken to our transportation. Our group was split into different taxi vans and the drive was about 15 minutes.

When we arrived, we were greeted by the super nice staff. We were able to watch some of the excursions that were already taking place while we waited for our host.

Shortly after we were given instructions to get ready. We had to shower beforehand to make sure we washed off any products that could harm the dolphins and water life.

Our instructor was great and we were in a small group of 4 plus the baby. The instructor explained what we had to do clearly and also shared valuable information about the dolphins. The two dolphins were named Marce and Frida. We were able to interact with them and had such a fun time.

After we were able to enjoy a buffet with an open bar before we had to head back to the ship.  The options ranged from building your own taco to a good ol’ burger or hotdog. We also enjoyed some drinks called “Sex on the beach.”  At the end, we had the option to purchase our pictures and other gift items. Tip: NEGOTIATE! 😉

Below are some pictures of our adventure.

Jena getting a kiss 😘
Dancing!
Baby John got in on the action!
Frida jump!
Splish splash!
Family, Mom Life, Travel

Cruise 2019 – Pictures

marcetheblogger

Hi everyone!

I am a picture fanatic so this post will be dedicated to a few pics from our family cruise. We went this past August and had a great time! It was an amazing experience and we all enjoyed ourselves! We stopped at some beautiful ports in a week span. Thank you Carnival for the memories!

Family, Mom Life, Travel

Family Cruise 2019

marcetheblogger

This summer we went on our first family cruise. We did it right before the beginning of the school year as a way to close out our summer. It was a 7 day cruise leaving from the Port of Miami to the Grand Cayman Islands, Roatan Island, Belize, and Cozumel.

We flew into Fort Lauderdale a day in advance and then took a cab over to Miami. We stayed at a Marriot close to the Port. We didn’t have a car so we mostly just walked around the surrounding area to do some exploring. We ended up doing a late night Target run and were able to get some necessities for our trip that we were missing.

This post will focus on some of the items I felt were important to have on this cruise especially traveling with a family. I will do a post and share some great pictures at a later time.

Items to bring in no specific order:

These were the key items to have. The cruise ship helped with our milk supply as it was available 24/7 for the baby.

I will keep updating this as I receive feedback. Feel free to share your own tips and I can continue to keep this growing!

NOTE: LINKS ARE NOW COMMISSIONED!

Food

Cooking Attempt!

marcetheblogger

Chicken Tortilla Soup!! I don’t typically cook because let’s face it, I am NOT a fan but I gave this recipe a try. My director gifted the department with different soup recipes for the holidays and I thought it was the cutest thing ever!!

This recipe was super easy and did not take much time which was perfect for me since I am no expert in cooking. I did the simple version since I didn’t have any chicken or canned beans.

Final Verdict: I must say both myself and my fiancé really enjoyed this! It was delicious and def a meal I will make again in the future!

Family, Mom Life

YAY for Delayed Openings!

marcetheblogger

One of the perks I have enjoyed at my current job is delayed openings! They give me a little extra time in the morning to enjoy breakfast and have longer morning chats with my oldest child. This girl is my world and was my whole world up until I had my son. She changed my life. I love watching her grow although it has been challenging at times. Sometimes when I hear her speak I hear myself because of the vocabulary she uses. It’s true kids really do follow their lead. I love being this little girl’s mom and can not wait to see her be all that she can be.