Tag: mom

Mom Life, Posts

International Women’s Day 2021

marcetheblogger

Empowerment means having the confidence to have control of self and receiving the support that is right. It means you are respected and have the power to do something. Much of women empowerment is mentioned in politics and is directed towards women in a professional career (rightfully so) but that leaves out a key role some women play in their life…being a mother.

Let’s think about this. We can carry another being (or multiples) for nine months! We then have to deliver these little ones and be in full mommy mode while recovering from delivery. As mothers we have to adapt to changes immediately and navigate parenting without a guide book! This is truly empowering. Of course, this does not minimize women in professional careers but shows appreciation and support for women who are at home nurturing their kids which is significant and meaningful.

Oftentimes, these women are overlooked and bombarded with pessimistic messages from family, friends, colleagues, and especially social media. Social media can portray a negative image of mothers because the messaging is women are wasting so many rights we fought to gain by being home and not doing “real work.”  

Motherhood needs more recognition and support and way less judgement.  There are many questions we think about when we go to bed at night and the key one is am I doing this right? So this March, Women’s Month, take some time to recognize a woman or women in your life who have made an impact on you or are making an impact in the world by caring for children.  A simple text goes a long way and can put a smile on another woman’s face and increase their confidence.  

This pandemic demonstrated how empowering motherhood can be. It opened my eyes to what being a stay at home mom really means. Waking up everyday with a toddler and preteen at home while having to work full time has not been easy but those tight hugs and goodnight kisses make it worthwhile. You see real power consists of choice, creativity, control and flexibility and mothers are out here doing it each and everyday.

Empowered Women Empower Women
Family

The Unexpected

marcetheblogger

January 20-21, 2021

What I thought would be a regular monthly prenatal check up turned into a nightmare that I will never wake up from. On January 20th just a day short of 17 weeks, my doctor couldn’t find my baby’s heartbeat with her Doppler. She moved me to the ultrasound room and as I grabbed my camera to record, I immediately knew something was wrong when I looked at the screen. It’s a picture that I see in my mind at different times throughout the day. I keep replaying it in my head thinking did this really happen?

You see after having two successful pregnancies with no major issues I never would have thought this would happen to me. At 17 weeks, I learned I had a fetal demise. My baby’s heart had stopped beating and they stopped growing. My doctor gave me two options, either induce labor and deliver my baby or have a D & C while under full anesthesia. Although I had the ultimate say, she highly recommended a D & C because she felt knowing my history and me that it would be too traumatic to try and deliver my baby vaginally. Ultimately, I decided for the D & C and was able to get an appointment for the next day.

It was such a weird car ride that day. I actually stopped at Dunkin’ and then parked and sat in my car at a park near my apartment. I just didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to see how hurt my fiancé was and I definitely wasn’t ready to see my 12 year old who I would have to tell.

Honestly, I felt like a failure. I even asked the doctor what I had done wrong and she said nothing. Everything was normal in my bloodwork and previous scans so having no answers made it even more difficult.

While at the park I recorded some videos which capture how I felt in that moment. I was in disbelief but felt speaking about it to myself out loud would help me begin to accept what had happened. But I must say even days later I still don’t understand.

I have played the video from that day multiple times; a video I accidentally recorded but it captured every second of that nightmare. The one thing I feared and was paranoid would happen actually did happen.

My baby became an angel before I could even hold them. I try to pray a lot and try to find peace knowing God has my baby with him. I am not going to lie at the park I definitely talked to God and told him I didn’t get why he did this. I mean I still don’t but I have to believe it’s for a reason and that as time goes on I’ll see and accept it.

Pregnancy loss in the second trimester happens in about 2-3% of women. Typically by this trimester you have gotten clearance from your doctor to share the baby news so it does add to the hurt.

I don’t share my story to scare anyone but instead to keep spreading the word on how many women actually experience this type of tragedy. I hope that I find my peace soon and I also hope that this in turn helps someone feel like they aren’t alone.

Baby #3 – Although we never met, I want you to know we loved you. We wondered if you were a boy or girl daily and it drove daddy crazy. We will meet again one day and until then I hope you Rest In Peace my angel.

  • Confirming Baby #3
  • First sign of baby bump
  • Check in #2
  • My alien baby was growing
  • New Year bump
  • My angel
  • My daughter’s words to her sibling – excuse her typos

Friends, Let's Get Personal

Change is Hard!

marcetheblogger

I have been going through many changes in my life primarily in my career. These changes have been positive and have really made me realize I can apply positivism in different aspects of my life. This along with conversations with loved ones have persuaded me and motivated me to make some changes.

I use to think I was a really optimistic person but because I am human I have found myself sometimes having negative thoughts. That could range from being judgmental to the way I speak to others when I get upset or frustrated. Therefore, at the beginning of this month, I began a gratitude challenge and it really affected my outlook on life.

This month I decided to put on the optimistic/positive lenses on my glasses and have begun to look at life more differently. With so many blessings around me, I have realized there is no time to dwell on negativity or pettiness. I have to let others be and worry about myself because if change is difficult to do, it is basically impossible to make others do it.

This all sounds great and very easy however it is not! Changing is a difficult thing that takes a lot of will and self-control. I am very conscious of stopping my negative or judgmental thoughts but when it comes to action, it reached another level of difficulty.

Very recently, I had a falling out with a close friend. We spoke about the situation via text and I thought it was put to rest (to an extent). However, shortly after I noticed she stopped watching my stories on social media. YES, it sounds super petty that I even noticed but this is a close friend I am referring to. I was bothered by this because that takes EFFORT. To purposely stop watching someone’s stories either takes the push of a mute button or just physically skipping over selecting that person on your timeline. I was not sure what to think of it and considered addressing it but I did not. That same friend’s birthday rolled around and I actually considered not even saying happy birthday. This is where I had to take control of myself and say do the right thing.

You love this person and although they have resorted to this type of pettiness, do you really want to do the same? How does this play into what you are trying to do with your life today? How will you feel if you skip this person’s special day? These are all of the questions I asked myself throughout the day. Finally, when 6pm came around, I made the decision to send a simple birthday text. It was not my usual long mushy text but it was happy birthday text nonetheless. When I say being the bigger person in this situation was hard, it was HARD! My pride inner voice kept trying to sucker me in but I did not allow it.

I want to put out good into this world. I want to bring positivism and optimism to those around me. This can only start with myself. I know at times I will make mistakes but ultimately I will be making conscious effort to avoid those but also to accept when I do fall short and address that. I feel this is a great way to end the year and also bring into the new year.

Good vibes only & positive thoughts mostly!

Courage to keep changing, faith to keep pushing, love to keep spreading!

Family, Let's Get Personal, Mom Life

November Gratitude Challenge

marcetheblogger

Checking in as I finish my November Gratitude Challenge…

At the beginning of November, I randomly came across the November Gratitude Challenge → http://www.gratitudechallenge.com/downloads/gratitude-calendar.pdf.  I looked at it, printed, and put it in my planner.  I did not really think much of it, I just thought I will get to it when I have time.  Not only did I not intentionally make time for it but it was in my planner for a week before I even took another look at it.  

I am really glad that I sat down one day and began to read it.  It is a very reflective challenge and I encourage everyone to try it, it definitely does not have to be month specific.  You could even try to do some of the items on the list in a week span.  

Why was it great?  Well self-reflection or any reflection for that matter is a good thing.  It requires being still for a moment and doing some deep thinking. I don’t really set time aside for myself but this challenge really helped me to make that time that we all need.  Some days I would get backed up with the daily tasks but I made it my responsibility to catch up. Some of my favorite ones were thanking some negative things in my life, sending thank you notes to five people who deserve recognition, and standing in front of a mirror and focusing on 5 things you love about yourself.  

Such simple sentiments yet not on my daily to do list.  Never would I think about thanking the negatives in my life, most times you end up dreading them or letting them stress you out but I literally thanked my negatives out loud and it made feel a sense of relief.  Sending thank you notes was my ultimate fave as it required recognizing some close ones that I may not always speak with. It made for a great entry to catch up and acknowledge them. Looking in the mirror is something I do daily but rarely do I ever focus on things I love.  Often times, I think about how my hair looks, how I don’t like my outfit, and how I want new glasses like yesterday. This was a bit more challenging for me but so worth it. It gave me a boost of confidence and just what I needed as the end of the year is nearing.

I am feeling extremely grateful for the amazing things happening in my life today.  I am also thankful for the not so great things I have faced to get me here. All of it keeps shaping me and influencing to keep on going.  I am more determined than I have felt all year and I want to share that with all of you. If you are going through a tough time, struggling with life, or just feeling down, take a look at yourself and what is around and just start thanking each and every bit of it.  Struggles eventually run their course and if you stay positive and always keep a bigger goal/picture in mind, you will come out on top!

Let's Get Personal

Reflection

marcetheblogger

Hi All,

I am feeling a bit nostalgic today so I wanted to share some thoughts. At the end of 2017, I took a very crazy leap of faith and accepted a new position. Why was it crazy, you ask? Well because it required a significant pay cut and leaving a job after 4 years (my longest job).

I had decided earlier in that year that I would return to grad school and get a degree to work in higher education. I knew it would not be easy and I knew it would require sacrifice. I went through so many situations since making the switch and they were not easy.

Many don’t know but I had interviewed at other schools but was never offered a position. But I did not become discouraged!  I knew I wanted to do more with my life. I wanted to make an impact on people’s lives.

I was fortunate to have started my higher education career at the beginning of 2018. Since then I have moved on to a different institution and feel beyond excited for the new opportunity. I am fortunate to be working with a great team and cannot wait to see what the rest of this school year brings for me.

Travel

Dolphinaris – Cozumel, Mexico

marcetheblogger

During our family cruise this past August, our ship docked at beautiful Cozumel, Mexico. This was our one stop where we decided to participate in an excursion. It was a family friendly activity that we all truly enjoyed.

For our last stop, we booked the Dolphinaris Experience. Due to my son being so small we opted not to do swimming with dolphins since he would not be able to participate and we were also on a budget. We booked the excursion directly on the Carnival app which was super easy and convenient.

We received our instructions in an envelope the morning of our excursion. Typically we would have received it the night before but we booked it super last minute. Once we docked, we made our way to our meeting spot where we had to wait about 45 minutes to be taken to our transportation. Our group was split into different taxi vans and the drive was about 15 minutes.

When we arrived, we were greeted by the super nice staff. We were able to watch some of the excursions that were already taking place while we waited for our host.

Shortly after we were given instructions to get ready. We had to shower beforehand to make sure we washed off any products that could harm the dolphins and water life.

Our instructor was great and we were in a small group of 4 plus the baby. The instructor explained what we had to do clearly and also shared valuable information about the dolphins. The two dolphins were named Marce and Frida. We were able to interact with them and had such a fun time.

After we were able to enjoy a buffet with an open bar before we had to head back to the ship.  The options ranged from building your own taco to a good ol’ burger or hotdog. We also enjoyed some drinks called “Sex on the beach.”  At the end, we had the option to purchase our pictures and other gift items. Tip: NEGOTIATE! 😉

Below are some pictures of our adventure.

Jena getting a kiss 😘
Dancing!
Baby John got in on the action!
Frida jump!
Splish splash!
Family, Mom Life, Travel

Cruise 2019 – Pictures

marcetheblogger

Hi everyone!

I am a picture fanatic so this post will be dedicated to a few pics from our family cruise. We went this past August and had a great time! It was an amazing experience and we all enjoyed ourselves! We stopped at some beautiful ports in a week span. Thank you Carnival for the memories!

Family, Mom Life, Travel

Family Cruise 2019

marcetheblogger

This summer we went on our first family cruise. We did it right before the beginning of the school year as a way to close out our summer. It was a 7 day cruise leaving from the Port of Miami to the Grand Cayman Islands, Roatan Island, Belize, and Cozumel.

We flew into Fort Lauderdale a day in advance and then took a cab over to Miami. We stayed at a Marriot close to the Port. We didn’t have a car so we mostly just walked around the surrounding area to do some exploring. We ended up doing a late night Target run and were able to get some necessities for our trip that we were missing.

This post will focus on some of the items I felt were important to have on this cruise especially traveling with a family. I will do a post and share some great pictures at a later time.

Items to bring in no specific order:

These were the key items to have. The cruise ship helped with our milk supply as it was available 24/7 for the baby.

I will keep updating this as I receive feedback. Feel free to share your own tips and I can continue to keep this growing!

NOTE: LINKS ARE NOW COMMISSIONED!

Let's Get Personal

Self-care

marcetheblogger

Hi All,

So last weekend, I went on a quick weekend getaway to Jamaica. It was much needed and made me realize that I have seriously been lacking in taking care of myself! It is crazy when you become so caught up with work, kids, chores, errands, and you forget about taking care of the SELF!!

Throughout my coursework these past two years, we focused on the importance of self-care and how people in the counseling profession need to care for self first. I definitely get an F on that! But today, I decided to write about it as a way to hold myself accountable.

In the past few months since my son was born I lost weight and gained weight. I am NOT where I want to be today in regards to my health or weight at all. This definitely takes a toll on my self-confidence but I know I can change it! This past week I have been eating better and eliminating snacks that are unnecessary calories. I managed to work out three times and hope to do it more often or for longer sessions.

Throughout the next few weeks, I am hoping to stick to these lifestyle changes I am making yet again! I will let you all in on my journey to being healthier and slimming down!

Let's Get Personal

2019 Goals

marcetheblogger

When I take breaks at work, I travel with my planner from Pretty Simple Planner and 2019 Goals Notebook courtesy of the Leadership Certificate Program at Montclair State University. I love writing to-do lists and find joy crossing items off of my list. This year instead of making verbal resolutions, I decided to write my goals in a notebook. I gave each goal it’s own page and make notes when I make progress towards each of them or I cross off items listed below the goal that I complete. It makes me feel accomplished and at the end of the year I can see what I have accomplished and hold myself accountable for those I may not complete. I am optimistic but also a realist and truth is some goals might have to wait because we all know life happens.