marcesview – Marce's View

Vegas 2022 – Foodie Post

April 6, 2022April 6, 2022 marcetheblogger

A few weeks ago, hubby and I took a quick weekend trip to Vegas. This was our second time returning but this time we didn’t bring the kiddies!

We stayed at Planet Hollywood which is conveniently located on the infamous strip.

Our trips are always very spontaneous and we don’t usually plan out what we will do. However, we definitely make sure to enjoy the food!

Check out this short video of some of the spots we visited! Alert: Food in this video will make you hungry!

Do you like to try new spots when you go away? How do you find where you will eat? Comment!

Family, Mom Life, Posts

Car Ride Chit Chat

April 22, 2021 marcetheblogger

Last night I was speaking to my 12 year old daughter. She was feeling very talkative and I was loving it. No iPad around, no iPhone in hand, just a convo while I was driving.

Her topic of discussion: her father. Now I’m not here to bash him but I will speak facts.

Her father has never been actively in her life. He has his moments where he calls consistently for like a week or two but then falls off. He has random times where he will call to drop off food for her. He will also randomly call and ask to take her with him on certain weekends but then there are times where he will call, say he’s coming, and then goes MIA.

It’s a terrible cycle and I have hated it for forever. I have been told to cancel him out because what he’s doing is toxic but I always felt like if he’s asking to see her why not. Plus my daughter does enjoy seeing her other side of the family which is what drives her to even want to go with him.

Well last night she was telling me how she wishes she knew what it feels like to have a dad. She acknowledges her stepdad and her grandpa (my dad) but still wonders about having her own dad. She said she doesn’t envy anyone else but she does wonder what she’s missing.

Now if you know me you know I wanted to ball up and cry. I definitely feel guilty about who I decided to sleep with and who I decided to make a baby with (whether planned or not). But instead of crying or making excuses for her father, I decided to keep listening but then took the opportunity to explain some things to her which I will breakdown at the end.

I also want to add that my parents and I never openly spoke about sex. We never spoke about relationships. All I can remember hearing growing up from my dad was to be with someone on my level and/or someone who had goals and aspirations and was doing something to achieve them. When I had Jen I told myself I wanted to be open with my daughter. I wanted us to be able to speak about any and everything regardless of what it was.

All of this led to my input in last night’s conversation:

When thinking about having sex for the first time, be smart. You only get to lose your virginity once and you want it to be with someone you trust and care about. This also doesn’t mean you will be together forever but you want someone who will respect you and when you think back at that moment you aren’t ashamed or full of regret.

When you get older and having kids comes up, know who you are having a baby with. Get to know that person, their family, and address what it will mean to bring another life into this world. It may not always work out but it may help to establish a healthy coparenting relationship if needed.

Just wait, there is no need to move fast and grow up fast. Everything has its time and the more mature you are the better you will be able to make decisions. (I had my daughter when I was 20 and that was far from a mature age to make this decision – my opinion).

Now to some this may be a lot and you may wonder why the heck I would say these things to my child. But the beauty of having your own kids is you getting to choose how to raise your own kids. It may not be perfect but it definitely gives me a good feeling knowing my daughter is comfortable speaking to me about topics like these.

Key takeaways: Know your partner and learn them. This will help you both decide if having kids together will work. Also talk to your kids. In this age of social media, wouldn’t you rather talk to them about sensitive topics instead of having Instagram or TikTok teach them?

NOTE: This is not parenting advice. I’m just a momma who wants and tries to do her best each and everyday in this crazy world we live in.

Mom Life, Posts

International Women’s Day 2021

March 8, 2021 marcetheblogger

Empowerment means having the confidence to have control of self and receiving the support that is right. It means you are respected and have the power to do something. Much of women empowerment is mentioned in politics and is directed towards women in a professional career (rightfully so) but that leaves out a key role some women play in their life…being a mother.

Let’s think about this. We can carry another being (or multiples) for nine months! We then have to deliver these little ones and be in full mommy mode while recovering from delivery. As mothers we have to adapt to changes immediately and navigate parenting without a guide book! This is truly empowering. Of course, this does not minimize women in professional careers but shows appreciation and support for women who are at home nurturing their kids which is significant and meaningful.

Oftentimes, these women are overlooked and bombarded with pessimistic messages from family, friends, colleagues, and especially social media. Social media can portray a negative image of mothers because the messaging is women are wasting so many rights we fought to gain by being home and not doing “real work.”

Motherhood needs more recognition and support and way less judgement. There are many questions we think about when we go to bed at night and the key one is am I doing this right? So this March, Women’s Month, take some time to recognize a woman or women in your life who have made an impact on you or are making an impact in the world by caring for children. A simple text goes a long way and can put a smile on another woman’s face and increase their confidence.

This pandemic demonstrated how empowering motherhood can be. It opened my eyes to what being a stay at home mom really means. Waking up everyday with a toddler and preteen at home while having to work full time has not been easy but those tight hugs and goodnight kisses make it worthwhile. You see real power consists of choice, creativity, control and flexibility and mothers are out here doing it each and everyday.

Posts

A Different Type of Thank You

March 6, 2021 marcetheblogger

A few weeks ago, we had a work meeting where a colleague hosted a workshop addressing how we express our feelings.

How many times have you asked or been asked how are you and the answer was: “Good,” “Okay,” or “Fine.” Now think about how often there were other feelings and energy behind those actual words.

Oftentimes we tend to hide what we are actually feeling in an effort to avoid speaking more about what is actually going on or what is affecting us. We may think our feelings are negative and may not want to pass them onto others or we merely try to deny our own true feelings to ourselves. Some may also shy away from expressing joy or happiness especially during these times we are living.

During this workshop, we learned about other words to use to describe our current state (chart below). The most unique and important part of the workshop (for me) was when we had to do an activity where we had to think or write down how we were feeling in that moment (personally or professionally). At the end, we were instructed to thank those feelings and give a reason why. It was a great way to see the positivity in a negative mood or feeling and to also check our energy behind them.

Personally, I have been going through so much. I really went into the workshop with little intention to participate. I kept telling myself how much I didn’t want to speak about my feelings especially with coworkers. But of course bottling things within is never the solution and actually finding new ways to look within ourselves is pretty cool and can bring about a new perspective.

Below are some of the feelings I thank on a weekly (more like daily) basis. I encourage you to take a moment and try the same! Take time and observe your energy and level of pleasantness in this very moment. It’s nothing like finding that silver lining to motivate you to keep going!

Where do you land on this chart right now?

Let's Get Personal, Posts

Accomplishments of the Week 2/19/21

February 19, 2021February 19, 2021 marcetheblogger

Last week I shared a post of my accomplishments for the week and I feel like it’s worth sharing every week. It gets hard sometimes to see what you get done because we tend to focus on what has yet to be completed. We can be so hard on ourselves and although that can be motivating for some, it can definitely have the opposite effect for others. So let’s try to focus today on what we have gotten done even if it’s something as small as I washed my hair twice this week haha!

Paid off a credit card (I will share a post of how I got back into debt one of these days)
Worked out all week (This has been hard some days especially when I get emotional)
Increased my Pinterest impressions (Super excited about trying this out and it is going well)

Posts

This Week’s Top 3 Accomplishments

February 12, 2021 marcetheblogger

This has been quite a long week for me. 🕔🕙

Finally returned to work (virtually) after being off more than two weeks and I am super proud I didn’t let myself work outside of work hours or become overwhelmed. 👏🏽

Excited about starting my Pinterest business page which has already made more impressions than I thought I could get. 🥳

I am also proud to have found motivation to work out every day. Thank you to @masterconsistency for the push on Tuesday! 💪🏽

Happy Friday! 💮

Posts

Only Believe Half of What You See

January 29, 2021February 8, 2021 marcetheblogger

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is img_5701.jpg — Westside Park – NJ

At quick glance, you see calm water and the bright sun, could be warm and cozy, however, it was windy and freezing. This quick snapshot just captures a single still moment in time but doesn’t define or tell what else is going on.

We live in a world where we are lead to believe everyone is living their best life (and hey, some probably are). Seriously though, everything posted on social media (for the most part) indicates everyone is just achieving all of their goals and doing great things, traveling to amazing places, and dressing nicely.

I received a message from one of my chapter sister’s this week that inspired this post. She said we don’t share our downfalls or losses often enough. I also listened to a podcast where someone shared how they don’t compare themselves to what they see because they don’t know what those people went thru to get to where they are. And they are both absolutely right.

So many people are fighting silent or hidden battles, illnesses, losses, and just plain daily struggles. Pictures are just single still moments and nothing else. We don’t know the work that was put into it or what someone had to overcome or what someone feels they have to prove to actually post that one picture. We also don’t know what struggles someone had to learn and surpass to achieve an accomplishment they share. But so often we catch ourselves getting consumed with this and feeling down about ourselves. You should just remember we are all works in progress and you may be envying or jealous of something that doesn’t even really exist.

So today try to think about the following:

Life is too short.
Tomorrow is not promised (same as the first, just worded differently).
Celebrate a small win.
Give someone a genuine compliment.
Call/message/text someone you haven’t spoken to in a while.

Remember: We all have our own struggles but sometimes reaching out to others can be just the medicine they need which in turn fulfills us as well.

Family

The Unexpected

January 27, 2021January 27, 2021 marcetheblogger

January 20-21, 2021

What I thought would be a regular monthly prenatal check up turned into a nightmare that I will never wake up from. On January 20th just a day short of 17 weeks, my doctor couldn’t find my baby’s heartbeat with her Doppler. She moved me to the ultrasound room and as I grabbed my camera to record, I immediately knew something was wrong when I looked at the screen. It’s a picture that I see in my mind at different times throughout the day. I keep replaying it in my head thinking did this really happen?

You see after having two successful pregnancies with no major issues I never would have thought this would happen to me. At 17 weeks, I learned I had a fetal demise. My baby’s heart had stopped beating and they stopped growing. My doctor gave me two options, either induce labor and deliver my baby or have a D & C while under full anesthesia. Although I had the ultimate say, she highly recommended a D & C because she felt knowing my history and me that it would be too traumatic to try and deliver my baby vaginally. Ultimately, I decided for the D & C and was able to get an appointment for the next day.

It was such a weird car ride that day. I actually stopped at Dunkin’ and then parked and sat in my car at a park near my apartment. I just didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to see how hurt my fiancé was and I definitely wasn’t ready to see my 12 year old who I would have to tell.

Honestly, I felt like a failure. I even asked the doctor what I had done wrong and she said nothing. Everything was normal in my bloodwork and previous scans so having no answers made it even more difficult.

While at the park I recorded some videos which capture how I felt in that moment. I was in disbelief but felt speaking about it to myself out loud would help me begin to accept what had happened. But I must say even days later I still don’t understand.

I have played the video from that day multiple times; a video I accidentally recorded but it captured every second of that nightmare. The one thing I feared and was paranoid would happen actually did happen.

My baby became an angel before I could even hold them. I try to pray a lot and try to find peace knowing God has my baby with him. I am not going to lie at the park I definitely talked to God and told him I didn’t get why he did this. I mean I still don’t but I have to believe it’s for a reason and that as time goes on I’ll see and accept it.

Pregnancy loss in the second trimester happens in about 2-3% of women. Typically by this trimester you have gotten clearance from your doctor to share the baby news so it does add to the hurt.

I don’t share my story to scare anyone but instead to keep spreading the word on how many women actually experience this type of tragedy. I hope that I find my peace soon and I also hope that this in turn helps someone feel like they aren’t alone.

Baby #3 – Although we never met, I want you to know we loved you. We wondered if you were a boy or girl daily and it drove daddy crazy. We will meet again one day and until then I hope you Rest In Peace my angel.

Mom Life

Pregnant? Know Your Rights!

January 22, 2021January 18, 2021 marcetheblogger

So the other day I was speaking to my sister and I ended up thinking about that time. You ever have those moments? Where you think to yourself I remember the time…Well I did and what I am about to speak about often comes to my mind and upsets me because I did not know any better.

I began working at Champs right after I graduated high school back in 2006. For those that don’t know, Champs is a part of the Foot Locker chain. That summer I helped to set up the store which was brand new and then went on to work as a cashier. I worked there during each of my breaks from college until the summer of 2008 which was right before I had my daughter that December. At the end of that summer, I gave my two weeks notice and never returned.

What happened is unfortunate and I am sure has been experienced by many women. That summer my manager found out I was pregnant through another source (not me!). The moment she knew, I could tell. Instantly I saw the schedule which had already been posted was suddenly changed and there was a noticeable decrease in my hours. I did not feel comfortable addressing it with her so I went straight to corporate Human Resources. They contacted my District Manager who then proceeded to request a meeting with me after we had a phone conversation.

She made an attempt to make things right and at the time I guess I felt it was sufficient. I mean think about it…I was a young college student who needed the extra cash during the summer especially being pregnant. I was just worried about keeping my job.

During the meeting, she apologized on behalf of the store manager but then proceeded to present me with a write up! She told me it was for a no call/no show for a day that at that time was about a month old. Not to mention, I actually did call out but of course the manager claimed I had not. She told she would make sure I got my hours back but I also needed to sign the write up. This is where I didn’t know any better comes in.

I didn’t know any better back then. I stupidly signed the paper and went back to work as if nothing happened. Thinking back at it I had every right to decline to sign and then return to HR to express that I felt the write up was done as a retaliation tactic because honestly that’s what it was. The apology was for me to feel better but the write up was to make the Store Manager and DM feel better.

It upsets me to think back at this situation. I was a good employee for those two years. I barely called out and dedicated my evenings, weekends, and sometimes almost full days to them for extra cash. And at the end, I quit! I felt I had been taken advantage of and even more so now because I know I had rights as a pregnant woman I was not aware of back then.

I share this because if you are pregnant for the first time regardless of age, make sure you know your rights. And even if it’s not your first time, just make sure you read up on any changes that might have happened since the last time you were pregnant.

Below are some links to helpful resources:

https://www.nj.gov/njparentlink/career/maternity/

https://www.nj.gov/njparentlink/career/childcare/index.html

https://www.nj.gov/njparentlink/parenting/101/

Family

Bowling – COVID Edition

January 20, 2021January 18, 2021 marcetheblogger

With everyone being home for the majority of their days, sometimes a night out can be really good for morale and trying to maintain some type of normalcy. So this past Friday, we decided to have a family bowling night at Bowlero. I decided to share this experience with y’all because a lot of questions came up for me related to what can be expected during this time at places such as these. So I figured you might be wondering the same.

Clear signage? Yes I can definitely say Bowlero had clear signs on their doors and arrows on the floors to try and maintain direction and control of which way people walked. Fortunately, we got there around 7PM so it wasn’t full at all. One tip: check to see if there are any specials going on. This could either save you money if you’re interested or keep you from going at a time with way more people. That night specials started at 9PM and as we were leaving, you could definitely tell the parking lot was more full and more people were coming in.

Temp check? No, they did not do temperature checks at the door.

Face masks required? Yes face masks were required the whole time even while bowling. The face masks could only come off if you were eating. They definitely had this emphasized on their TVs all over the alley.

Food? Yes food service was available. They actually had it where a waitress would come to your lane or you could walk and place an order at their counter. This was different because they did not previously have waitresses. I am assuming this was done to keep so many people from walking back and forth and around the alley.

Bar? Yes, the bar was open but not packed at the time we were there.

Arcade? Now here is where my concern was. Some people were eating at the tables behind their lanes but also walking back and forth to the arcade so I did witness some people with their face masks down in that area.

Bathrooms? The bathrooms were not as clean as I would think. The paper towel was sitting on the counter over the sink so it was definitely getting touched by multiple people and also damp.

Sanitizing? This was also something that stuck out to me. This facility did not have any hand sanitizing stations. Most places I have been to recently either have hand sanitizer available at the entrance/exit or throughout their facility for easy access. This was not the case at the bowling alley. Fortunately we had brought our own hand sanitizer to keep in our area but it would have been nice to have it around considering the many hands touching the equipment and arcade games.

Overall, we had a great time. The kids really enjoyed themselves and I did feel pretty safe. I know everyone has their own boundaries regarding going out so if you are considering bowling as an activity I would definitely say check it out at a time that is not usually busy.

Stay safe!