Tag: bloggermom

Posts, Travel

Vegas 2022 – Foodie Post

marcetheblogger

A few weeks ago, hubby and I took a quick weekend trip to Vegas. This was our second time returning but this time we didn’t bring the kiddies!

We stayed at Planet Hollywood which is conveniently located on the infamous strip.

Our trips are always very spontaneous and we don’t usually plan out what we will do. However, we definitely make sure to enjoy the food!

Check out this short video of some of the spots we visited! Alert: Food in this video will make you hungry!

Do you like to try new spots when you go away? How do you find where you will eat? Comment!

Family, Mom Life, Posts

Car Ride Chit Chat

marcetheblogger

Last night I was speaking to my 12 year old daughter. She was feeling very talkative and I was loving it. No iPad around, no iPhone in hand, just a convo while I was driving.

Her topic of discussion: her father. Now I’m not here to bash him but I will speak facts.

Her father has never been actively in her life. He has his moments where he calls consistently for like a week or two but then falls off. He has random times where he will call to drop off food for her. He will also randomly call and ask to take her with him on certain weekends but then there are times where he will call, say he’s coming, and then goes MIA.

It’s a terrible cycle and I have hated it for forever. I have been told to cancel him out because what he’s doing is toxic but I always felt like if he’s asking to see her why not. Plus my daughter does enjoy seeing her other side of the family which is what drives her to even want to go with him.

Well last night she was telling me how she wishes she knew what it feels like to have a dad. She acknowledges her stepdad and her grandpa (my dad) but still wonders about having her own dad. She said she doesn’t envy anyone else but she does wonder what she’s missing.

Now if you know me you know I wanted to ball up and cry. I definitely feel guilty about who I decided to sleep with and who I decided to make a baby with (whether planned or not). But instead of crying or making excuses for her father, I decided to keep listening but then took the opportunity to explain some things to her which I will breakdown at the end.

I also want to add that my parents and I never openly spoke about sex. We never spoke about relationships. All I can remember hearing growing up from my dad was to be with someone on my level and/or someone who had goals and aspirations and was doing something to achieve them. When I had Jen I told myself I wanted to be open with my daughter. I wanted us to be able to speak about any and everything regardless of what it was.

All of this led to my input in last night’s conversation:

When thinking about having sex for the first time, be smart. You only get to lose your virginity once and you want it to be with someone you trust and care about. This also doesn’t mean you will be together forever but you want someone who will respect you and when you think back at that moment you aren’t ashamed or full of regret.

When you get older and having kids comes up, know who you are having a baby with. Get to know that person, their family, and address what it will mean to bring another life into this world. It may not always work out but it may help to establish a healthy coparenting relationship if needed.

Just wait, there is no need to move fast and grow up fast. Everything has its time and the more mature you are the better you will be able to make decisions. (I had my daughter when I was 20 and that was far from a mature age to make this decision – my opinion).

Now to some this may be a lot and you may wonder why the heck I would say these things to my child. But the beauty of having your own kids is you getting to choose how to raise your own kids. It may not be perfect but it definitely gives me a good feeling knowing my daughter is comfortable speaking to me about topics like these.

Key takeaways: Know your partner and learn them. This will help you both decide if having kids together will work. Also talk to your kids. In this age of social media, wouldn’t you rather talk to them about sensitive topics instead of having Instagram or TikTok teach them?

NOTE: This is not parenting advice. I’m just a momma who wants and tries to do her best each and everyday in this crazy world we live in.

Mom Life, Posts

International Women’s Day 2021

marcetheblogger

Empowerment means having the confidence to have control of self and receiving the support that is right. It means you are respected and have the power to do something. Much of women empowerment is mentioned in politics and is directed towards women in a professional career (rightfully so) but that leaves out a key role some women play in their life…being a mother.

Let’s think about this. We can carry another being (or multiples) for nine months! We then have to deliver these little ones and be in full mommy mode while recovering from delivery. As mothers we have to adapt to changes immediately and navigate parenting without a guide book! This is truly empowering. Of course, this does not minimize women in professional careers but shows appreciation and support for women who are at home nurturing their kids which is significant and meaningful.

Oftentimes, these women are overlooked and bombarded with pessimistic messages from family, friends, colleagues, and especially social media. Social media can portray a negative image of mothers because the messaging is women are wasting so many rights we fought to gain by being home and not doing “real work.”  

Motherhood needs more recognition and support and way less judgement.  There are many questions we think about when we go to bed at night and the key one is am I doing this right? So this March, Women’s Month, take some time to recognize a woman or women in your life who have made an impact on you or are making an impact in the world by caring for children.  A simple text goes a long way and can put a smile on another woman’s face and increase their confidence.  

This pandemic demonstrated how empowering motherhood can be. It opened my eyes to what being a stay at home mom really means. Waking up everyday with a toddler and preteen at home while having to work full time has not been easy but those tight hugs and goodnight kisses make it worthwhile. You see real power consists of choice, creativity, control and flexibility and mothers are out here doing it each and everyday.

Empowered Women Empower Women
Posts

A Different Type of Thank You

marcetheblogger

A few weeks ago, we had a work meeting where a colleague hosted a workshop addressing how we express our feelings.

How many times have you asked or been asked how are you and the answer was: “Good,” “Okay,” or “Fine.” Now think about how often there were other feelings and energy behind those actual words.

Oftentimes we tend to hide what we are actually feeling in an effort to avoid speaking more about what is actually going on or what is affecting us. We may think our feelings are negative and may not want to pass them onto others or we merely try to deny our own true feelings to ourselves. Some may also shy away from expressing joy or happiness especially during these times we are living.

During this workshop, we learned about other words to use to describe our current state (chart below). The most unique and important part of the workshop (for me) was when we had to do an activity where we had to think or write down how we were feeling in that moment (personally or professionally). At the end, we were instructed to thank those feelings and give a reason why. It was a great way to see the positivity in a negative mood or feeling and to also check our energy behind them.

Personally, I have been going through so much. I really went into the workshop with little intention to participate. I kept telling myself how much I didn’t want to speak about my feelings especially with coworkers. But of course bottling things within is never the solution and actually finding new ways to look within ourselves is pretty cool and can bring about a new perspective.

Below are some of the feelings I thank on a weekly (more like daily) basis. I encourage you to take a moment and try the same! Take time and observe your energy and level of pleasantness in this very moment. It’s nothing like finding that silver lining to motivate you to keep going!

Where do you land on this chart right now?
Thank You
Posts

This Week’s Top 3 Accomplishments

marcetheblogger

This has been quite a long week for me. 🕔🕙

Finally returned to work (virtually) after being off more than two weeks and I am super proud I didn’t let myself work outside of work hours or become overwhelmed. 👏🏽

Excited about starting my Pinterest business page which has already made more impressions than I thought I could get. 🥳

I am also proud to have found motivation to work out every day. Thank you to @masterconsistency for the push on Tuesday! 💪🏽

Happy Friday! 💮

Accomplishments of the Week
Mom Life

Work from Home with a Twist

marcetheblogger

One of the advantages of working from home is that you can really change your environment for the day while still getting your tasks and responsibilities completed.

On Wednesday, I made this beautiful site my office. The weather was perfect and you can’t beat this scenery. My fiancé kept our son entertained while I attended my meetings.

The upside of this was when I had a few minutes in between sessions I was able to enjoy the space around me with my loved ones.

Nothing like some ecotherapy to relax you and clear your mind.

Has anyone else changed their at home office locations during this pandemic?

Friends

Lupus Warrior

marcetheblogger

Today I want to share a story from one of my best friends, Aeisha. She is a Lupus Warrior and was kind enough to let me interview her. She also gave me permission to share her story with my readers.

Q: How old are you?

A: 28.

Q: When were you diagnosed with Lupus?

A: October 2012.

Q: What was your initial reaction to your diagnosis?

A: I thought I was going to die.

Q: What has been the most challenging part of living with Lupus? Has it held you back or prevented you from doing things you have wanted to do?

A: The most challenging part of living with Lupus is not being able to travel as much as I am used to. My lupus caused me to have kidney failure. Now I am on dialysis and it’s hard to just get up and go like regular people. Everything has to be planned.

Q: Are there any organizations/groups that have helped inform you more about Lupus?

A: There are a lot of people on Instagram that I follow and follow me because we share this same disease. It’s comforting to know that I am not alone.

Q: What are some misconceptions people have about Lupus that you have faced?

A: There are people that think those with Lupus are lazy. Just because you can’t physically see my disability, it doesn’t mean that it is not there.

Q: Where are you today with your Lupus?

A: Today, I am still taking my monthly infusions, which I think is helping. I haven’t felt any pain since getting on it. “Fingers crossed!” I still am on dialysis. I am also on the transplant list waiting for a donor.

Q: What keeps you motivated?

A: My education keeps me motivated. The fact that I’m working towards a goal keeps me going.

Q: Any final thoughts or words you want to share?

A: Don’t let anybody say you can’t be!

Lupus affects every person differently. Despite Aeisha’s struggles with this disease, she doesn’t let it keep her down and still works towards her goals. Aeisha is actually receiving her BA this month in Social Work from Rutgers University. So not only is Aeisha fighting her own battle everyday but she is working towards being able to help others in need. She is the definition of a Lupus Warrior!

Posts

Coronavirus…ish got real

marcetheblogger

If you are anything like me, you didn’t think this whole COVID-19 was going to take over the way it did. I was definitely one of those peeps who kept saying and thinking that this would blow over in a week or so. I was so WRONG!

It has now been almost 2 months since I started working at home and I am still in disbelief. Everything changed so abruptly and it literally happened overnight. One day my daughter was in school and the next we were picking up a Chromebook for her to do remote learning. One day I was at work and the next was told to stay home until further notice.

These past few months have been a rollercoaster ride. We had to start wearing masks, hand sanitizing repeatedly, wearing gloves, and even spraying alcohol when coming back into the house. Let’s not forget the mental effects this virus has had on just about everyone! I have had days where my emotions, feelings, and thoughts have caused me to have mini meltdowns. This coming from someone who didn’t take this seriously at all at first.

This virus hit a little to close to home though. At the end of March, my mother tested positive for the virus and was extremely ill. It was super scary and it was even worse because I couldn’t be by her side like I would have wanted. I had to rely on phone calls to my dad and hoping he was being honest. My sister and I would take turns checking in with them throughout the day. Once my mom started getting better, my dad began to feel sick. Fortunately, by the grace of God, he tested negative for the virus and actually felt better in about a week. Sadly, it doesn’t end there. Several of my aunts and uncles also tested positive and are still healing slowly.

This, however, is not the case for all of them. One of my uncles is still in the hospital and it has been a long 3 weeks. We have been praying for him and checking in with him every day but it is extremely difficult. We are fortunate enough to have a close family friend that works at the hospital stop in during her shift each day just so we can say hello.

I can imagine that a lot of the world has experienced an incline in so many stressors and it has truly affected our mental health. However, it has also made us open our eyes and look back at moments we may not have appreciated as much. I know for me, it’s small things such as merely stopping by my mom’s place and hanging out with the kids for an hour or even our small birthday gatherings where we could sing Happy Birthday and cut a cake. It’s these small things that I truly miss. FaceTime calls have definitely become more frequent.

I write this in hope to offer some comfort to others experiencing these same or similar things. Know that you are not alone. We are in this together. Please take some of this time to distract yourself from all the negativity that is being put out.

Find some time to turn off your television, log off of social media, and just enjoy some fresh air and some sun. One thing they haven’t banned us from doing is going for a walk (of course being safe). So go out and enjoy it! I know this works for me; it is a way to recharge.

Some other suggestions: use this time to boost your self-care, pick up a hobby, or even teach your kid(s) something new (bike riding is on our list here). Self-care was at the bottom of my priority list which is NO BUENO (not good). It took me so many weeks before I finally made time to workout again and write some blog posts. I even used a face mask a few times. Go Me!

Let us take these tough times and use it to rebuild ourselves. This way once the world opens up again, we will be ready to conquer it.

Family, Mom Life

Happy Mother’s Day

marcetheblogger

Keeping it simple for this special day.

Yesterday I was finally able to reunite with my parents, sister, and our kids in our home to celebrate Mother’s Day. It was a great feeling to be able to be together once again and seeing the joy the kids bring my parents. These past few weeks have been rough and have truly showed me how important it is to enjoy each other everyday and in every way.

Posts

Who else is working remotely?

marcetheblogger

I was definitely one of the people that always wanted to have the option to work from home. Little did I know that almost a month ago, we would have to make that switch abruptly. COVID-19 came in and flipped our world upside down and inside out.

The first week was extremely overwhelming. Feeling like a slave to my laptop, I convinced myself I had to work every second of every minute of every hour from 8:30 to 4:30. It took me several days to let that mentality go and just do what I could. I had to remember that breaks were important for my mentality, my physical we;;-being, and my emotional health.

Not only was I overwhelmed with work but suddenly I also became a grade school teacher. My daughter and I had to adjust and come up with a schedule and way of communicating that worked for us. It was not easy! Being home also meant having my little guy around more. He has become so attached I cannot even imagine what it will be like once I return to the office. Nonetheless having an almost 2 year old presented its own challenges. He suddenly felt all my web conferences were meet and greets and all of my supplies were for arts and crafts.

On top of all of this, social media became hypnotizing. It was bombarded by news of COVID-19 but it was also suddenly full of people saying things like, “Now you will see what stay at home moms go through.” Wow, was that super annoying!

Now hear me out here…I do not discredit what stay at home moms do. If you can look back at previous posts, I was one for awhile before returning to work from maternity leave. But there is a significant difference if that is your only job all day everyday. It definitely cannot compare to having a full time job, being a home school teacher, and watching a 2 year old all at the same time. Trying to manage these multiple roles while still trying to stick to your work calendar has been the MOST CHALLENGING yet.

A few times in the past weeks, I have had several emotional breakdowns. I mean literally crying hysterically at my kitchen table, in my bedroom, in the shower, etc. Check-ins with my director and colleagues has been so important. Just being able to talk it out, seeing how others are managing, and feeling understood have provided a sense of relief.

So what are some key things I have learned during this transitioning period…

  1. Relax! No one is really expecting you to be bound to your laptop all day (at least not in my case).
  2. Take breaks! This will help clear your mind and sometimes it’s what you need to keep on going.
  3. Check in! Whether you are communicating with others in your department or institution or even other workplaces, just check in. Social distancing does not mean do not speak!
  4. Look at the positives! At first this was difficult to do but when else will this happen? When will you be home with your immediate family and get to enjoy each other despite the challenges? Probably not any time soon.
  5. Be Kind! We are all watching and experiencing this pandemic. It is frightening but don’t let that fear consume you and make you angry. Instead, be kind! Reach out to those you love and reconnect.

Let’s stay strong.

Better times will come.

Keep praying for the world.

We will get through this together.

And remember…Live, Laugh, & Love!