This has been quite a long week for me. 🕔🕙
Finally returned to work (virtually) after being off more than two weeks and I am super proud I didn’t let myself work outside of work hours or become overwhelmed. 👏🏽
Excited about starting my Pinterest business page which has already made more impressions than I thought I could get. 🥳
I am also proud to have found motivation to work out every day. Thank you to @masterconsistency for the push on Tuesday! 💪🏽
Happy Friday! 💮
At quick glance, you see calm water and the bright sun, could be warm and cozy, however, it was windy and freezing. This quick snapshot just captures a single still moment in time but doesn’t define or tell what else is going on.
We live in a world where we are lead to believe everyone is living their best life (and hey, some probably are). Seriously though, everything posted on social media (for the most part) indicates everyone is just achieving all of their goals and doing great things, traveling to amazing places, and dressing nicely.
I received a message from one of my chapter sister’s this week that inspired this post. She said we don’t share our downfalls or losses often enough. I also listened to a podcast where someone shared how they don’t compare themselves to what they see because they don’t know what those people went thru to get to where they are. And they are both absolutely right.
So many people are fighting silent or hidden battles, illnesses, losses, and just plain daily struggles. Pictures are just single still moments and nothing else. We don’t know the work that was put into it or what someone had to overcome or what someone feels they have to prove to actually post that one picture. We also don’t know what struggles someone had to learn and surpass to achieve an accomplishment they share. But so often we catch ourselves getting consumed with this and feeling down about ourselves. You should just remember we are all works in progress and you may be envying or jealous of something that doesn’t even really exist.
So today try to think about the following:
Remember: We all have our own struggles but sometimes reaching out to others can be just the medicine they need which in turn fulfills us as well.
January 20-21, 2021
What I thought would be a regular monthly prenatal check up turned into a nightmare that I will never wake up from. On January 20th just a day short of 17 weeks, my doctor couldn’t find my baby’s heartbeat with her Doppler. She moved me to the ultrasound room and as I grabbed my camera to record, I immediately knew something was wrong when I looked at the screen. It’s a picture that I see in my mind at different times throughout the day. I keep replaying it in my head thinking did this really happen?
You see after having two successful pregnancies with no major issues I never would have thought this would happen to me. At 17 weeks, I learned I had a fetal demise. My baby’s heart had stopped beating and they stopped growing. My doctor gave me two options, either induce labor and deliver my baby or have a D & C while under full anesthesia. Although I had the ultimate say, she highly recommended a D & C because she felt knowing my history and me that it would be too traumatic to try and deliver my baby vaginally. Ultimately, I decided for the D & C and was able to get an appointment for the next day.
It was such a weird car ride that day. I actually stopped at Dunkin’ and then parked and sat in my car at a park near my apartment. I just didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to see how hurt my fiancé was and I definitely wasn’t ready to see my 12 year old who I would have to tell.
Honestly, I felt like a failure. I even asked the doctor what I had done wrong and she said nothing. Everything was normal in my bloodwork and previous scans so having no answers made it even more difficult.
While at the park I recorded some videos which capture how I felt in that moment. I was in disbelief but felt speaking about it to myself out loud would help me begin to accept what had happened. But I must say even days later I still don’t understand.
I have played the video from that day multiple times; a video I accidentally recorded but it captured every second of that nightmare. The one thing I feared and was paranoid would happen actually did happen.
My baby became an angel before I could even hold them. I try to pray a lot and try to find peace knowing God has my baby with him. I am not going to lie at the park I definitely talked to God and told him I didn’t get why he did this. I mean I still don’t but I have to believe it’s for a reason and that as time goes on I’ll see and accept it.
Pregnancy loss in the second trimester happens in about 2-3% of women. Typically by this trimester you have gotten clearance from your doctor to share the baby news so it does add to the hurt.
I don’t share my story to scare anyone but instead to keep spreading the word on how many women actually experience this type of tragedy. I hope that I find my peace soon and I also hope that this in turn helps someone feel like they aren’t alone.
Baby #3 – Although we never met, I want you to know we loved you. We wondered if you were a boy or girl daily and it drove daddy crazy. We will meet again one day and until then I hope you Rest In Peace my angel.
So the other day I was speaking to my sister and I ended up thinking about that time. You ever have those moments? Where you think to yourself I remember the time…Well I did and what I am about to speak about often comes to my mind and upsets me because I did not know any better.
I began working at Champs right after I graduated high school back in 2006. For those that don’t know, Champs is a part of the Foot Locker chain. That summer I helped to set up the store which was brand new and then went on to work as a cashier. I worked there during each of my breaks from college until the summer of 2008 which was right before I had my daughter that December. At the end of that summer, I gave my two weeks notice and never returned.
What happened is unfortunate and I am sure has been experienced by many women. That summer my manager found out I was pregnant through another source (not me!). The moment she knew, I could tell. Instantly I saw the schedule which had already been posted was suddenly changed and there was a noticeable decrease in my hours. I did not feel comfortable addressing it with her so I went straight to corporate Human Resources. They contacted my District Manager who then proceeded to request a meeting with me after we had a phone conversation.
She made an attempt to make things right and at the time I guess I felt it was sufficient. I mean think about it…I was a young college student who needed the extra cash during the summer especially being pregnant. I was just worried about keeping my job.
During the meeting, she apologized on behalf of the store manager but then proceeded to present me with a write up! She told me it was for a no call/no show for a day that at that time was about a month old. Not to mention, I actually did call out but of course the manager claimed I had not. She told she would make sure I got my hours back but I also needed to sign the write up. This is where I didn’t know any better comes in.
I didn’t know any better back then. I stupidly signed the paper and went back to work as if nothing happened. Thinking back at it I had every right to decline to sign and then return to HR to express that I felt the write up was done as a retaliation tactic because honestly that’s what it was. The apology was for me to feel better but the write up was to make the Store Manager and DM feel better.
It upsets me to think back at this situation. I was a good employee for those two years. I barely called out and dedicated my evenings, weekends, and sometimes almost full days to them for extra cash. And at the end, I quit! I felt I had been taken advantage of and even more so now because I know I had rights as a pregnant woman I was not aware of back then.
I share this because if you are pregnant for the first time regardless of age, make sure you know your rights. And even if it’s not your first time, just make sure you read up on any changes that might have happened since the last time you were pregnant.
Below are some links to helpful resources:
https://www.nj.gov/njparentlink/career/maternity/
https://www.nj.gov/njparentlink/career/childcare/index.html
https://www.nj.gov/njparentlink/parenting/101/
With everyone being home for the majority of their days, sometimes a night out can be really good for morale and trying to maintain some type of normalcy. So this past Friday, we decided to have a family bowling night at Bowlero. I decided to share this experience with y’all because a lot of questions came up for me related to what can be expected during this time at places such as these. So I figured you might be wondering the same.
Clear signage? Yes I can definitely say Bowlero had clear signs on their doors and arrows on the floors to try and maintain direction and control of which way people walked. Fortunately, we got there around 7PM so it wasn’t full at all. One tip: check to see if there are any specials going on. This could either save you money if you’re interested or keep you from going at a time with way more people. That night specials started at 9PM and as we were leaving, you could definitely tell the parking lot was more full and more people were coming in.
Temp check? No, they did not do temperature checks at the door.
Face masks required? Yes face masks were required the whole time even while bowling. The face masks could only come off if you were eating. They definitely had this emphasized on their TVs all over the alley.
Food? Yes food service was available. They actually had it where a waitress would come to your lane or you could walk and place an order at their counter. This was different because they did not previously have waitresses. I am assuming this was done to keep so many people from walking back and forth and around the alley.
Bar? Yes, the bar was open but not packed at the time we were there.
Arcade? Now here is where my concern was. Some people were eating at the tables behind their lanes but also walking back and forth to the arcade so I did witness some people with their face masks down in that area.
Bathrooms? The bathrooms were not as clean as I would think. The paper towel was sitting on the counter over the sink so it was definitely getting touched by multiple people and also damp.
Sanitizing? This was also something that stuck out to me. This facility did not have any hand sanitizing stations. Most places I have been to recently either have hand sanitizer available at the entrance/exit or throughout their facility for easy access. This was not the case at the bowling alley. Fortunately we had brought our own hand sanitizer to keep in our area but it would have been nice to have it around considering the many hands touching the equipment and arcade games.
Overall, we had a great time. The kids really enjoyed themselves and I did feel pretty safe. I know everyone has their own boundaries regarding going out so if you are considering bowling as an activity I would definitely say check it out at a time that is not usually busy.
Stay safe!
The Great Falls are absolutely amazing especially during the winter months. All of the water freezes and it looks like a real winter wonderland. But be careful it does get super icy to walk on and certain areas are blocked off because of the icy conditions. This is a must see if you are in the North Jersey area. They have updated some of the park so it is definitely worth checking out.
A friend of mine recently shared she was pregnant. I was overjoyed with the news to put it plainly. For one, 2020 was a hell of a year so any good news just seems to ignite an overdose of happiness these days. Second, it is so different when someone close to me is expecting their first. All babies are of course blessings and bring joy but it’s just something about a first time that hits a little different.
There is this indescribable feeling you feel once you become a parent. It truly is hard to put into words. This overwhelming feeling of happiness and love followed by the need and want to protect this little human that is a part of you. It will also suddenly enlighten you and you will understand why so many people cringe when others give them parenting advice. Suddenly, the joking about dropping the baby off every weekend at a friend’s house seems so unlikely because really who else could care for your kid like you can.
Knowing my friend will soon experience this with her fiance is what fills me with an abundance of happiness. They are two amazing people and I have seen them both grow so much throughout the years. I know they will be amazing parents.
Each year is a chance to start working on some new goals, adjusting previous goals, and crossing out goals that no longer apply. Personally, I love to physically write my goals down, yes with pen on paper lol. I enjoy being able to write each down with notes about what needs to be done to accomplish them. It allows me to cross off what is completed and also make any adjustments throughout the year. I feel establishing goals for yourself is a way to keep you motivated, hold yourself accountable, and also keep you focused on your bigger picture. You can set short term (3 months, 6 months, 1 year) and long term goals (3 years, 5 years, lifetime).
Below are some of my 2021 goals I wanted to share with y’all (in no specific order):
Do you make goals for yourself each year? What’s your method of keeping track and holding yourself accountable?
Happy New Year! Let’s make 2021 our year!
It would have been nice if at the strike of midnight on 1/1/21, we could have woken up from the 2020 nightmare. I won’t go on and on about how difficult 2020 was for each and everyone of us because I know I still struggle personally with the effects.
Despite all of the downs of 2020, there were some ups. I was able to get a promotion at work even during these trying times. We were able to celebrate several birthdays of family members and close friends which we appreciated so much more. Although celebrations were different this year, I think we can all say we upped our technology knowledge a bit by enjoying some ZOOM moments. Many of us took advantage of what the outdoors had to offer by picking up hiking, bike riding, or just plain walks around our neighborhoods.
All in all I just write this to say we survived. We pushed through and are still here. Can we say everything is going perfectly? Probably not! But I am happy enough just saying that I am getting through each day with some prayer, proper scheduling of breaks, and knowing when to just shut everything off and enjoy who is around me. Stay blessed! Here is to hoping 2021 treats us a little better than 2020.
When anyone invites us to go camping or we make a plan to go, the first thing on our minds is: What are we going to eat? 🏕
Camping isn’t just about being out in nature! A huge part for us has been the food. I mean who doesn’t love to eat? 🥩🍗
This last camping trip we were fortunate enough to eat feast after feast after feast and no I’m not kidding lol. Some of us made breakfast and others made lunch/dinner. I mean honestly it seemed like the cooking didn’t stop so who really knows which meal it was lol. 🍽
These are just some pics of dishes we enjoyed during our trip: pupusas, skirt steak, pinchos, & grilled wings. 😍
Marce's View 